For the past week I have had a friend parked outside my apartment door. The damn beast must love it there because other than his legs, I don’t see him move…ever. Even when the door slams shut, he stays there happily. I could attempt to kill the blasted beast, but that would leave a mark the size of my wallet on the wall. Of course he could retaliate against my indiscretion and cover me in silk and then eat me. I’m still waiting to see his friends (yeah I know Mothra is technically a female) flyin’ around. Where is he when you need him.