I was looking to find a simple wall shelf to put my DVDs on and I found one that I liked on Ikea’s website. If you look at it, it’s just really a piece of wood with a little mounting kit to go with it.

I was excited to notice that not only could you browse individual items but you could also order from them online as well. I filled out the order opting to have my billing address different from the shipping address. Although I did select that option, their system didn’t prompt me to input another billing address. I kinda shrugged that off. I put in my order and I get this email from them:

Due to a high volume of orders, we will contact you to confirm your order with the details about your delivery and total cost within 5 – 7 business days.

I’m thinking, this is really dumb. This is the year 2004 (almost 2005); online stores are nothing new why can’t they rollout a system that doesn’t suck ass? If it were 1997-1999 I think I would be more understanding, but come on. I have to wait 5-7 business days before they even tell me how much it will cost? With the shipping time, it’s gonna be 2 weeks before I get a piece of wood. By this time I was starting to get that sinking feeling.

Then a few days later I get another email from them:

Subtotal: $12.99
Shipping & Handling: $19.14
Tax: $0.00
Order Total: $32.13

Let’s see 12.99 for piece of wood – check. Shipping and handling comes to 19.14…19.14?! It costs more to ship the piece of wood than the piece of wood is worth! I was floored. This is absurd. I called Ikea and spoke to their customer service rep and I told her that I was ordering a piece of wood and the shipping costs…she cut me off and told me that anything that’s made out of wood goes out freight delivery. If this is true, which it’s not (it clearly states at the bottom of the message that it would be shipped via UPS), it would be the most ludicrous thing ever. After I told her that it would be shipped via UPS she said that it was that much because it was being shipped from Baltimore. I could see that; if it was Baltimore, Mars perhaps. 20 dollars to ship a piece of wood; incredible.

Needless to say, I promptly canceled my order.

I mentioned this lunacy to Megan and she said that I was like Michael Douglas’ character in Falling Down because of my notable fervor on the matter. Interestingly enough, that dude is my hero and I can totally see myself getting fed up with traffic and leaving my car sitting in it.